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What’s yours is his?

When it comes to marriage, like diamonds, we believe they are supposed to be forever. So making plans to preserve your assets in the case of a divorce may not be sound very romantic, but with over half the population headed for the divorce courts after a trip down the aisle, it's better to be safe than sorry.

Divorce can become even more complicated when domestic violence is involved in the relationship ending. Typically, women in these situations are too emotional to concern themselves over their rights or their future status and have their sights set on only short term security.

Most women spend a lifetime preparing for marriage but when it comes to divorce, they are completely unprepared. Women tend not to know anything about their civil or property rights, therefore leaving themselves vulnerable to being unfairly treated in divorce settlings.

Furthermore, in many marriages, one partner leaves all the financial details in the hands of the other spouse. Bad move, experts say. This is the notion invites couples to become lax when it comes to their own financial independence.

"The legal process of a divorce has an ending and people can even get over the emotional strain of dealing with a divorce," said Fadi Baradihi, president of the Institute for Divorce Financial Analysts. "But once you sign a financial divorce settlement you will have to live with that decision for the rest of your life."

And that can be a costly decision.

According to a study by The National Marriage Project at Rutgers University, a woman's standard of living usually drops by 27 percent after a divorce, while a man's standard of living actually increases by 10 percent.

Part of the problem is that women are more likely to be unaware of the family's complete financial status, making it difficult to negotiate a proper settlement.

So whether you're thinking of making the split or just prefer to err on the side of caution, here are some tips to avoid being blindsided in the event of a divorce;

Step 1
Meet with an attorney and learn about the laws in your state concerning property division. Get specific advice for how to handle your particular unique situation.

Step 2
Gather all the records you can find that detail bank accounts, pensions, investments, expensive items, and the value of your home and vehicles and any other large important things you own. Make a list of other assets that exist and describe them. This will be proof for the court of what the marital assets are.

Step 3
Secure items such as deeds, vehicle titles, jewelry and expensive collections in a safe deposit box.

Step 4
Find out if your spouse has taken things and make a list of what is missing.

Step 5
Have valuations performed on expensive items such as houses, antiques and jewelry. This will provide you with proof of the fair market value of the items.

Step 6
Remove any powers of attorney you have given your spouse to assets that are in your name alone. Destroy any general powers of attorney you may have signed, giving your spouse the right to act on your behalf in legal and financial matters.

Step 7
Cancel any joint credit cards. You are liable to the company for any amounts charged on the card whether or not you made the purchase.

Step 8
Consider closing out all joint bank accounts and investments. Talk to an attorney about the laws in your state about this. If you believe your spouse may take those assets and spend or hide them, then you are probably safe in removing them with an intent to preserve them. It is always legal for you and your spouse to close such accounts together and divide them between yourselves.

Step 9
Obtain a restraining order preventing your spouse from taking or spending marital assets. You will probably need an attorney to do so.

Disclaimer: Please note that answers given in this section cannot take the place of a lawyer. For legal advice about your specific situation, you must consult a qualified lawyer. Consult an attorney to understand the laws of property division in your state.

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