what not to do!
Life After Divorce: Don’t do it!
Topic: Divorce is a major mess in life! There is no doubt about that!
It is a life changing storm that can leave you feeling spent, angry, bitter, worthless, raging, raped, vengeful, suicidal or make you do things to yourself that you may later come to regret.
Suddenly you find yourself alone and on your own trying to deal with various issues such as keeping up the mortgage payment, raising the kids alone, paying school fees, having to downsize or upsize your career options, cut back on your lifestyle, face the world alone, cope with loneliness, lose your house or even be forced to sell it, etc…
All these things can/may spin you in the opposite direction through weight problems, strain, stress, fear and a foreboding sense of gross insecurity.
No doubt all these can seem overwhelming and painful to deal with. However there are some stupid things you should not consider doing because you are feeling like ‘I don’t care right now!’, because believe me, you are will care when this sorry cloud passes! So beloved listen carefully....
If you are still hurting, angry, frustrated and don’t know how to cope, the worst mentality you want to adopt is the type that says; “ I think I’ll just please myself! Who cares anyway?’ Before you blow it, here are some few tips on WHAT NOT TO DO under any circumstances:
1. Having indiscriminate sex.
Do not allow your wounded emotions to drive you into the arms of the next waiting man for sex. You don’t have to sleep with another man - engage in an adulterous or illicit affair with a married man, co-worker, casual acquaintance, neighbor, friend or any other man for that matter! - to restore your wounded pride or convince yourself that you are still desirable. Fight the urge to engage in sex for the heck of it. You are worth more than that!
2. Unprotected sex.
Ask yourself: Do you really want destroy you life completely? Unprotected sex can lead to HIV-AIDS and other sexually
transmitted diseases. You don’t need that! Do you? So act sensibly at all times. You may also get pregnant on top of all your current crisis. Is that what you want? Can you even deal with that right now? So think deeply before you have unprotected sex during or straight after a divorce. You may regret it! Do you get this?
3. Drinking heavily and Drunk driving:
Drinking will NOT make you feel better, secured, resolved, loved or healed. It is the wrong answer to your problems right now. If you were drinking before, slow it down. If you were never a drinker but just feeling low right now, DO NOT embrace the bottle. If you are a driver, you don’t need anyone to tell you it is unwise, unsafe and against the law, so DON’T do it!
4. Turning to drugs:
The divorce experience is known to have made a few women conclude that "My life is simply over," "I am worthless and I have lost everything," and "Nobody will ever want me" and so on and so forth. Some women have regrettably resorted to the use of drugs such as Marijuana, cocaine, LSD, amphetamines, opium, speed, sleeping pills, Valium, anti-depressants and so on.
Listen, this pain is temporary! It will go away! And repeat after me: “Drugs are not the answer!” Drugs and their side effects can make you ill, disoriented, unable to cope, or even become suicidal. So don’t seek comfort in taking drugs to numb your pain.
5. Sleeping with you ex-partner/husband:
Don’t fall so low as to go back to your abuser for sex or think you can use sex to make him stop abusing you, love you or want you back. Sex is not the answer. You will only get hurt more. You have to dig deep inside for strength and the prayer power to redefine your future. You are a survivor! You can start afresh again without going to him for sexual favors. You will only fall even lower than you have and get abused more than you already have.
6. Do not neglect your kids:
Your children are the greatest victims of your divorce. If you escaped from an abusive relationship, in the same way they were victims or witnesses of the abuse at home in the past. A good Mom will not be too self-pitiful and self-absorbed! Yes, you may carry and feel the pain but focus on giving your child/children a happy new life, not by spoiling them but by being honest with them, talking to them and making them share in some of the decision making process for your futures.
Stay close and know where your kids are and watch out for emotional scars and the effects of trauma on them. They are your first priority. You must get that straight!
7. Avoid wasteful spending:
The last thing you want to do right now is start spending money wastefully to compensate yourself. You don’t need any more clothes, shoes, handbags or ‘stuff’ to make you feel worthy, so get responsible. Save your money. You and your kids will need it, especially now. Cut down on the credit card spending, plan your budget and remember to assess your situation financially. Avoid unreasonable borrowing and above all don’t blow your savings. You need to stand strong now.
This too shall pass!
Your life isn't over, it's just a new beginning for you. Changing the negative tapes that run in your head can change how you physically feel.
Above all, remember: God Loves You and You are Precious![Isaiah 43v4]
JOIN THE BIG GIVE NOW!
HELP STOP THE GENOCIDE!
